What's Your Style? Download a PDF version to print and save
Want to know if you are a passive or reactive communicator?
Style of Communication Indicator
This is a quick and simple way (non-scientific) to determine your natural style when dealing with difficult people and circumstances. When you answer, think of how you respond in public situations. By answering T (true) you are indicating this statement is true most of the time. When answering F (false) you are indicating this statement is false most of the time. Please answer all questions T or F. Being totally honest about what is mostly true and false will help you determine your communication style.
If you want validation, give this indicator to a few friends and family members and ask them to rate you.
1. ________ I almost always avoid conflict when I can.
2. I sometimes hurt others' feelings without intending to do so.
3. ________ I often blow off steam because it "lets it out" and makes me feel better.
4. ________ I often have a conversation in my head about what others will think or how they will respond to me if I say what I am thinking.
5. I often walk away from a conversation saying to myself or others, "I wish I had said..."
6. ________ I don't have any problem letting someone know that I'm upset.
7. ________ My family tells me that I act with more intensity at home than I do in public.
8. ________ It is difficult for me to remain silent in public when I have strong opinions.
9. ________ I have no problem "telling it like it is."
10. _______ I feel anxious when others are upset with me.
11. _______ Although I have a long fuse, I do blow up at times or engage in self-destructive behaviors.
12. _______ Others see me as a "peacemaker."
13. _______ I am very direct in the way I communicate.
14. _______ I have difficulty being honest if I think what I say may hurt someone's feelings.
15. _______ I dont like to "beat around the bush" when I have something to say.
16. _______ It bothers me when others don't say what they really mean.
17. _______ I get upset quickly and get over it in the same way.
18. _______ It is difficult for me to speak up in public even if I have a strong opinion.
19. _______ I dont get mad; I just get even.
20. _______ Others see me as soft-spoken.
Evaluation of Communication Style Indicator
1) Total the number of true answers for questions:
1, 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, 12, 14, 18, 20 _____________ (Passive)
2) Total the number of true answers for questions:
2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19 ______________ (Reactive)
3) On the continuum below circle the numbers reflecting your total Passive and Reactive answers.
What it means...
A higher total in P and a lower total in R indicates a passive style.
A higher total in R and a lower total in P indicates a reactive style.
A higher total in P and a high total in R (not as high as P) indicates a passive style; you're probably not totally satisfied with the way you deal with difficult situations and people.
A higher total in R and a high total in P (not as high as R) indicates a reactive style; you're probably not totally satisfied with the way you deal with difficult situations and people.
Equal totals in the center is the sign of an Honest, Direct and Respectful (HDR) communicator. Is this mostly true? If so - great. For validation, ask someone else to rate you.
Equal scores at both extremes means you are probably confused or havent spent much time thinking about your style of communication.
Want to know if you are a passive or reactive communicator?
Style of Communication Indicator
This is a quick and simple way (non-scientific) to determine your natural style when dealing with difficult people and circumstances. When you answer, think of how you respond in public situations. By answering T (true) you are indicating this statement is true most of the time. When answering F (false) you are indicating this statement is false most of the time. Please answer all questions T or F. Being totally honest about what is mostly true and false will help you determine your communication style.
If you want validation, give this indicator to a few friends and family members and ask them to rate you.
1. ________ I almost always avoid conflict when I can.
2. I sometimes hurt others' feelings without intending to do so.
3. ________ I often blow off steam because it "lets it out" and makes me feel better.
4. ________ I often have a conversation in my head about what others will think or how they will respond to me if I say what I am thinking.
5. I often walk away from a conversation saying to myself or others, "I wish I had said..."
6. ________ I don't have any problem letting someone know that I'm upset.
7. ________ My family tells me that I act with more intensity at home than I do in public.
8. ________ It is difficult for me to remain silent in public when I have strong opinions.
9. ________ I have no problem "telling it like it is."
10. _______ I feel anxious when others are upset with me.
11. _______ Although I have a long fuse, I do blow up at times or engage in self-destructive behaviors.
12. _______ Others see me as a "peacemaker."
13. _______ I am very direct in the way I communicate.
14. _______ I have difficulty being honest if I think what I say may hurt someone's feelings.
15. _______ I dont like to "beat around the bush" when I have something to say.
16. _______ It bothers me when others don't say what they really mean.
17. _______ I get upset quickly and get over it in the same way.
18. _______ It is difficult for me to speak up in public even if I have a strong opinion.
19. _______ I dont get mad; I just get even.
20. _______ Others see me as soft-spoken.
Evaluation of Communication Style Indicator
1) Total the number of true answers for questions:
1, 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, 12, 14, 18, 20 _____________ (Passive)
2) Total the number of true answers for questions:
2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19 ______________ (Reactive)
3) On the continuum below circle the numbers reflecting your total Passive and Reactive answers.
P ---------------------------------------------------------------------R
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
What it means...
A higher total in P and a lower total in R indicates a passive style. A higher total in R and a lower total in P indicates a reactive style. A higher total in P and a high total in R (not as high as P) indicates a passive style; you're probably not totally satisfied with the way you deal with difficult situations and people. A higher total in R and a high total in P (not as high as R) indicates a reactive style; you're probably not totally satisfied with the way you deal with difficult situations and people. Equal totals in the center is the sign of an Honest, Direct and Respectful (HDR) communicator. Is this mostly true? If so - great. For validation, ask someone else to rate you. Equal scores at both extremes means you are probably confused or havent spent much time thinking about your style of communication.| Want to know more about your style? Read my book "HONEST DIRECT RESPECTFUL" - three simple words that will Change Your Life. Available in bookstores now! Or order online! |
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